Oscars 8

I just noticed that the set contains a bunch of lamps. What the fuck is that about? Someone explain this to me.

Kathy Bates was sent out to introduce Avatar. Now she is a real actress. She needs to do more movies that allow her to get all crazed and shit. Like when she did Misery. That was some damn creepy work. Speaking of acting, isn’t it great that not a single actor from Avatar was nominated? If it was such a great movie, maybe there would have been an acting nomination. Oh wait, maybe the special effects covered up the stale performances.

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

I have no clue who will win this award. My guess is Clooney, however it wouldn’t surprise me if Morgan Freeman wins this one for all the ass kicking he has done over the years. I hear Jeff Bridges is the favorite. This should be interesting. This year they brought out five people to give statements about each nominee. Michelle Pfieffer is out to talk about Bridges. She speaks from the heart. Vera Farmiga gives us her take on Clooney. She seems to really admire the man. Julianne Moore gives us some words on Colin Firth. Tim Robbins is out to give us some words about the iconic Morgan Freeman. He gave an humorous story about their first day together on The Shawshank Redemption. Colin Farell is out to talk about Jeremy Renner. Something about a trip to Mexico comes up. It gets a laugh. That’s fun. I didn’t realize that Jeremy Renner was in Swat. Hmm. I usually catch those things. I like how they do this. It is kind of endearing.

Kate Winslett out to present the winner! She is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. She could present me a pink slip at work and I wouldn’t mind. I’d take it willingly. The winner is Jeff Bridges. Finally, some personality on stage. Bridges is the most charismatic person to take the stage all night. This award acceptance makes me want to see Crazy Heart.