Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Frustration haunted my day...

Many of you probably know that I work for a major medical insurance company. It is no secret that the job is not the most enjoyable. Today gave me a real prime example of why I occasionally am tempted to just say “fuck it” and walk out of the place. People are crazy. Not just the ones with mental problems, but the ones who operate as functional members of society. They all seem sane as can be, but once you get them a little pissed off about their health insurance, their eyes turn to fire and they want to drink some fucking blood. I am really not exaggerating. Two things people are passionate about are money and the well being of themselves and their loved ones. Add those two together and you get some Linda Blair puke spewing bat shit crazers (yes, I did make this word up).

Now, I’ve been yelled at by people more times than I could ever imagine to count. It is nothing new to me. Usually it makes the day interesting. For the most part it doesn’t bother me because I can just hit the mute button and chuckle to myself about the nut job trying to make their case about something they didn’t take the time to research. I get that it happens with all customer service jobs. I would be on the street if all customers were happy and didn’t have issues. However, my real gripe in this all comes when people have the audacity to scream and you and then deny that they are even doing so.

They aren’t blatantly saying that they aren’t shouting. These are the people in denial as to where they are directing their rage. They tend to give you a plate of fresh bullshit and say “Now, I’m not directing this at you. You are just earning a living” or “I understand that you are doing your job, so I am really pissed off at your company”. Today a woman screamed at me at the top of her lungs about how I work for greedy pigs that sit in a board room conspiring to find ways to not pay her claims. She also added that congress needs to get off their asses and do something about it rather than be worried about a black president. Sure enough, this blossom of joy made sure to tell me, while still yelling, that it wasn’t personal, she wasn’t directing it at me, and that she was really only furious at the company.

Bull fucking shit. I don’t want to hear that line of crap. If she was in person at a department store service counter shouting and talking the way she was, she would have been arrested for disorderly conduct or some other related offense. It doesn’t matter what your intentions are, but when you start yelling directly at a person, you have made it about them in some regard. You are uncorking your capsulated bottle of pissed-off right at them. Sorry ma’am, but while you are talking to me, your words are directed at me. You are disrespecting me and there isn’t an acceptable excuse for it.

The only reason someone yells at a complete stranger is as a means to scare or intimidate them. They yell to appear as the superior beast, in order to obtain the advantage. It is why a lion roars or a snake hisses. For all these people to always say that they aren’t meaning to take it out on me or that they are not directing their hostility at me is nothing but a farce. They are hoping that I have some shit trickling down my leg and will run screaming to someone so that we can bend over and appease them. The bad news for them is that the world of customer service is not a jungle and we don’t play by the rules of the wild.

It baffles me as to why people will treat customer service representatives so poorly. I am certain that they would be calling security the second a customer walked into their place of employment and starting screaming that they were a bunch of crooks. They’d probably file a complaint with the local authorities if they got dozens of calls everything with expletive language and wishes of failure by the hands of the government. I have no idea what compels people to just unleash on people and treat them like utter shit. It rarely gets them anywhere. If it has ever been successful outside of a Wendy’s I would be shocked.

Ultimately the idiot customers of the world need to spare me their delusions. Stop insulting my intelligence. You are yelling at ME, not the people I work for. Let’s be honest about it and then shut the fuck up.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Dear Olympics, you aren't as amusing as Ron Fucking Swanson

Many people have been watching the Olympics. That’s fine. Some people like watching the endless hours of sports they wouldn’t watch normally. People should probably stop being delusional and acting as if they’d give a damn about (insert random ski event) at any time between the quad-yearly events.

What the Olympians do is amazing. There is no doubt that they kick some ass at what they are doing. I by no means am saying that the athletes aren’t legitimate or they don’t deserve some recognition. I am saying that I can’t genuinely follow them just because there is nothing else to watch.

That’s partially my point of this entire blog entry. The past week has left a void in my life. Quality television has been at an abysmal level this past ten days. All I ask for is that my favorite shows air some brand new episodes. The biggest problem of this all is that the best show on television airs on the network that is banking their year’s budget on the success of the Olympics. That means I have to wait until next week to get my fix.

Hold on one second there, tiger. You are probably assuming that I am talking about “The Office”, “30 Rock”, or one of those ever stale “Law and Order” shows. Well, it is safe to say I am not referring to “Law and Order”. I can’t watch more than ten minutes of any of those shows without feeling as if I am watching a rerun. “The Office” has been off its game since the middle of last season. They’ve taken their lovable Jim Halpert (John Krasinksi) and turned him into an unlikable tool job. In fact, I’d rather watch Sarah Palin in a geography-bee than see Jim try to play manager again. It was awful and uncomfortable and not the kind of uncomfortable that “The Office” did exceptionally well.

Now I can’t really say anything critical about “30 Rock”. It is as funny as one could ask for, but I just don’t think it is the best show on television. The show now firmly in my crosshairs as the best is “Parks and Recreation”.

Now I don’t mean it is just the best comedy. I mean that it is the best show on network television period. That is saying a lot from a guy who has been in love with “Lost” for the past five year. Right now I can’t think of one show firing on all cylinders like “Parks” currently is. Now I know what you are saying to yourself. “Wasn’t Parke and Recreation that bland Office rip-off?” I can’t say that you are wrong with such a statement. Season one was a six episode heap of disappointment. Amy Poehler’s character of Leslie Knope was a lite beer version of Steve Carrell’s Michael Scott. To put it simply, “Parks” had not found its own identity and was set to get dumped real quick if it didn’t gain some momentum.

The season premiere of its second season brought a creative spark from this mockumentary comedy about small town government. The show found its own niche in taking plausible situations any small town citizen could relate to and adding its own twist. In other words, it became something to identify with. “Parks” became the kind of show that was funny because you’ve been there before.

Perhaps the biggest improvement in “Parks and Recreation” is the character development. They have created a cast of characters so diverse and amusing that anyone could deliver the punch line. On top of that, the show has become self aware of all the characters’ flaws. They know that the character of Mark (Paul Schneider) is a little boring, so they poke fun and exploit that fact. Tom Haverford (Aziz Ansari) does some douche-bag things, but not to a level where he is a caricature. However, you forgive those indiscretions when he has moments of brilliance such as DJ Roomba (go ahead and youtube that). Even the “minor” characters have a lot to show. Andy (Chris Pratt), April (Aubrey Plaza), Donna (Retta), and Jerry (Jim O’Heir) are just gold whenever they utter a line.

Amy Poehler deserves a lot of credit for transforming Leslie Knope from a half-witted deputy director of the Pawnee Parks department into a competent and occasionally overzealous woman of politics. Once her character wasn’t written as a complete dunce, the show found its groove. It was no longer a show about her weekly misadventures. Leslie Knope became the solid anchor for chaos and tomfoolery to ensue around her while occasionally being misguided by her own ambition. Now she is the one rolling her eyes at the ridiculous bullshit she sees around her rather than being the one we roll our eyes at.

Let’s cut to the chase, folks. All that stuff I just raved about is as true as true gets, but all of it pales into comparison to the most awesome component of “Parks and Recreation”. This pillar of kick-ass is known as Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman). Ron Fucking Swanson, as he once dubbed himself, is by the far the best written character on television. He is a bad ass. He is funny. He likes bacon, especially when it is served at a strip club breakfast buffet. In a nut shell, he is the epitome of an awesome and iconic character that we will remember for years to come. He is the guy you end up quoting every Friday morning. For example, let’s take a gander at some of the best lines uttered by Ron Swanson:

“I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks, I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.”

“On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rush to my side so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time.”

Regarding his ex wife: “Every time she laughs, an angel dies. Even telemarketers avoid her. Her birth was payback for the sins of man. But you know the worst thing about her? She works for the library.”

“I would prefer that she ask me for my permission so I could say no. I like saying no. It lowers their enthusiasm.”

Try to tell that those aren’t gems. If there is one character that will get you on board with “Parks and Recreation” it is Ron Swanson. Trust me on that.

I think I have summed up my points on why “Parks and Recreation” is currently the best show on television. They are on a real roll right now. The show is topical, witty, and carries the occasional does of heart. That’s rare for a television show these days. Perhaps we should all embrace it before NBC cancels it for some stupid reality show about people getting married to their pets.

You laugh now, but it is not impossible. NBC is capable of everything. Right, Conan?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

I am a Brett Favre fan, and proud of it...

Oh how I love reading all the hate on Brett Favre coming from the people of Wisconsin (yes, this was sarcasm from me). Packer nation is a bitter and vindictive group of people. There are a good number of these people who honestly believe that Brett owes them something. He doesn’t. There is no debating that fact. I could explain my case, but I don’t have all day to rant at you. The Packers organization and the city of Green Bay are the ones in debt to Brett for everything he did all those years.

Let’s take a look at the haters for a second. Not a one of them is taking into consideration that Brett was not a Packer when he moved on to the Vikings. He didn’t betray anyone. We’ve got our guy now with Aaron Rodgers. Letting Brett go was not a bad decision. Rodgers is the guy. Everything worked out for the Packers. Instead, a lot of people chose to take the irrational route and hate a man who wasn’t even a Packer anymore. These are the same people that will scream after a game about the refereeing when, in all honesty, it was shitty play by the Packers that cause that week’s downfall.

Let’s be honest here, people. Everyone got what they wanted out of this Favre saga. Brett moved on and still got to play at a championship level. Packer nation got the next franchise quarterback without having to endure years of searching for the answer. Mike McCarthy got a guy he could mold and he avoided having an ugly quarterback controversy. Ted Thompson got rid of a man he didn’t want on the roster in the long run and he looked like a genius with the way Rodgers was playing. Also, we got Clay Matthews as a result of Brett leaving. That 3rd round draft pick we got from the Jets was traded to the Patriots in the package that secured Matthews at the end of the first round.

The whole situation before the 2008 was ugly and Brett got the majority of the backlash for it. Had the Pack just let Brett go, it might have been a lot easier for everyone to take and it would have been over. Everyone would have moved on. Instead, the Packers thought about keeping their competitive edge. McCarthy and Thompson aren’t stupid. They knew Brett was capable of doing what he did this season. They knew damn well that there was a chance for him to lead the Vikings to greatness. So, what did they do? In their own best interest, for the sake of the competitive edge, they prevented Brett from choosing his own destiny. Then, a year later, Brett acted in his own best interest. He wanted to play, but for a team that could win. He wanted a team that he would fit into. A team perhaps built for him. He wanted the best chance to win. That was the same thing the Packers wanted. So, he maneuvered himself to Minnesota. He did something in his own best interest. Try to tell me that you have never EVER done that. I will call you a bold faced liar. Don’t bullshit me. To hate on Brett Favre makes you a hypocrite. You would have done the same thing.

While we are being honest, let’s get to another reason many of you are bitter. This isn’t just bitter, but a growing bitterness with each week of success from the Vikings. Many of you are just jealous. You are upset that Brett still has the skills, but took them to Minnesota. How dare he do that! Sorry, folks, but it is wrong to think like that. We didn’t own Brett Favre. He doesn’t belong to the Packers legacy. Sure, he is part of it, but does not belong to it. He only belongs to his own legacy. You can’t go on having the “If we can’t have him, nobody can!” philosophy. It is illogical and selfish. Let’s also remember how fine people were with kicking him to the curb to New York last season. It didn’t necessarily sitting well with Packer nation, but it was what it was. Then, Brett becomes a threat to the Packer livelihood. That is when shit hit the fan.

Packer nation is the bitter ex-boyfriend who doesn’t want to see their girl with anyone else. It enrages them to see Brett with someone else. How dare he be happy if we aren’t happy?

Go ahead, everyone. Get bitter. Get angry. Be petty. Call Brett names. Swear at the television. Vow to disown him. Take it personally even though the man doesn’t even know you. Be irrational. Me, I’ll use some logic. I’m going to root for my hero, Brett Favre.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My "Paranormal Activity" review

There is an old saying that perception is reality. Or is it that reality is perception? I suppose it doesn't matter because the idea is the same either way. It is a powerful concept that shapes the way we experience the world around us. If it feels real, then it might as well be.


The movie “Paranormal Activity” works with this premise and does a masterful job of giving the viewer the perception of reality. Not often does it happen where you watch a movie, knowing from the get go that it is not by any means real, but can't help but think that it very well could happen. “Paranormal Activity” benefits from feeling at several points during the movie.


In case you didn't know, “Paranormal Activity” is a low budget movie which follows a twenty something couple who are documenting and dealing with a poltergeist like entity that is menacing them in their home. This couple consists of Katie (Katie Featherston) and Micah (Micah Sloat), who have been dating for several years and have recently moved in together. Katie is a graduate student while Micah has some boring day job, but clearly aspires to be a film maker. We learn this early on because it is his obsession to film their current predicament that brings us the footage we are now viewing.


As the story tells us, Katie has been plagued by some form of spirit since she was a child. It has followed her around. This is something that Micah is intrigued by and wants to capture on film. He sets up his camera in their bedroom at night and follows around Katie during the day. We also get a little exposition as they even consult a psychic for advice. Shit is going down and they want to be on top of it.


As I stated earlier, there is a feeling of realism to the movie. It starts with our main characters. They just look like average people you might meet anywhere. Katie Featherston plays her role as if her privacy is really being invaded by a video camera and as if there is an invisible for stalking and terrorizing her. Micah Sloat plays off his character a genuine opportunist.


It goes without saying that strange things start happening in the house. Things move and noises are heard. It is what is to be expected from a movie about a haunting. However, the difference with “Paranormal Activity” is that it doesn't come off as anything from a movie. What you do see is not an over animated special effect. It looks like something that you might witness with your own eyes. However, it is often what you don't see that is the real scary stuff. It creates some great suspense and a general feeling of anxiety because you don't know what it is and where it is coming from. There's real darkness in this movie, just as if you really were walking through your house at 2 o'clock in the morning with no lights on. There's a sound but no visible explanation for what made it. In the case of “Paranormal Activity”, less is more.


The movie doesn't have an expansive plot or back story, but it doesn't take from the experience. In fact, it isn't even necessary. The point of “Paranormal Activity” is to experience the phenomena right along with the characters. The movie is most effective when you let yourself become immersed in the visual and audio environment. Since the movie is filmed with a hand held camera, we are either in the shoes of the characters themselves, or right alongside them as the action takes place. Now don't get me wrong about the actual story being presented. There is a narrative and several details that are important to take in. If you pay attention, the climactic ending is that much more effective.


Bottom line is that many parts of the movie feel real. It is this feeling that very few films can evoke. It starts right from the beginning when the caption reads as if the footage was gathered after the events that you see unfold. It ends with no credits. It is not so much a movies as it is a compilation of events edited together to hopefully make you feel uneasy about turning off your lights before you go to bed. I'll be honest, it sure made me a little jumpy. I even slept with the lights on last night. Let's not tell anyone about that, though.



Wednesday, September 9, 2009

nfl predictions

It is that time of the year again! No, I am not talking about the awesome time of the year where Halloween candy is abundant and scary things are for sale everywhere. However, I have been eying up these real cool pirate skull lights at Walgreens. Probably will get those before October rolls around. Oh, I got a little off topic. Where was I? Oh! One of my favorite times the year is upon us! FOOTBALL SEASON!


Without a doubt, the story of this football season is that of an aging man who was castaway by his football family who had moved on with their young and talented star. Yes, I am referring to Brett Favre and the drama that followed him this summer. Love him or hate him, this is the biggest story in sports this fall. When he comes to Green Bay on November 1, all hell could break loose. The irrational Packer nation seems to believe he is a traitor. They tend to forget that Brett was the one set packing to New York last season, a move he didn't volunteer for. Then he was cut loose and decided to be a hotbed of indecision. In many ways, he douched it up for a couple months and wouldn't let his true intentions known. Call it arrogance or call it strategy, but in the end he still ended up in Minnesota. It is a favorable spot for him. If he can still go like claims he can go, then the Vikings are in a good position.


There is a lot of talk about the locker room divide on Minnesota. That is understandable. They were deceived by their coaches and management. Tarvaris Jackson was almost looking like a good ball player. However, deep down, the Viking nation didn't believe the guy had it in him to be great. Maybe good, but not great. They'd rather settle for good from a future hall of famer. That's what they decided. That's what pissed off an entire state. Yeah. I get it. A lot of you hate Brett Favre. I refuse to do so. He has a right to play. The Vikings wanted him. He was available. Boom. It was done. If anyone has the right to be pissed off, it is the Vikings quarterbacks and those who supported them. Us as Packers fans need to realize that he is a person, not a commodity.


Regardless of your feelings, you have to be looking forward to that game.


Predictions? You're talking Predictions? I'd just like to win a damn game!


Okay, so this is the part of the blog where I give you my thoughts on who will win each division. Wild Card winners with have an '*' next to their name. Shall we just get started on this?


AFC EAST

  1. New England Patriots

  2. Miami Dolphins

  3. Buffalo Bills

  4. New York Jets


AFC WEST

  1. San Diego Chargers (Home Field)

  2. Denver Broncos

  3. Kansas City Chiefs

  4. Oakland Raiders


AFC NORTH

  1. Baltimore Ravens

  2. Pittsburgh Steelers*

  3. Cincinnati Bengals

  4. Cleveland Browns


AFC SOUTH

  1. Tennessee Titans (Bye)

  2. Houston Texans *

  3. Indianapolis Colts

  4. Jacksonville Jaguars


Conference Championship: Titans over Chargers


NFC EAST

  1. Philadelphia Eagles

  2. Dallas Cowboys

  3. Washington Redskins

  4. New York Giants

NFC WEST

  1. Arizona Cardinals

  2. Seattle Seahawks

  3. San Francisco 49ers

  4. St. Louis Rams


NFC SOUTH

  1. New Orleans Saints (Home Field)

  2. Atlanta Falcons*

  3. Carolina Panthers

  4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers


drumroll....


NFC NORTH

  1. Green Bay Packers (Bye)

  2. Minnesota Vikings *

  3. Chicago Bears

  4. Detroit Lions


Conference Championship: Saints over Packers


SUPER BOWL: Saints over Titans


Coach of the Year: Mike McCarthy (via Dom Capers)

Offensive Player of the Year: Adrian Peterson


Defensive Player of the Year: Charles Woodson

NFL MVP: Drew Brees


Rookie of the Year Offensively: Percy Harvin

Rookie of the Year Defensively: BJ Raji


How many games will Detroit win this year? I say 7


Where will Brandon Marshall end up? I say, Dallas. Jerry Jones has a thing for idiots.


What about Mark Tauscher, will he be signed? Maybe by Dunkin Donuts


How long before Michael Vick gets into more trouble: Next spring. At a petting zoo.


I believe the Packers take the game in Minnesota while the Vikings take the one here in Green Bay. Which will cause a riot that I can see flaming up from my apartment.


Friday, August 7, 2009

Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat

Sometimes it feels like years have literally gone by between my blog entries. Hell, they probably have if you consider time may pass differently in alternate universes.

That seems to be the idea on my mind lately. Alternate universes. There are a lot of interesting possibilities out there. The show “Fringe” is loosely touching on that next season. I hope its very loosely because it would otherwise blow an idea of mine.

Anyway, the idea of an alternate universe is appealing to me. There are so many different ways it could go. Common knowledge says that if there are alternate universes that they are infinite. Okay. I'll by that. So, there must be one where I have blond hair rather than brown. There is another where I am from Mississippi or am a professional boxer. Then there is the concept of the different time-lines that would go down with different decisions. For example, what happens if the US stays away from Europe during WWII? What if Robert Kennedy avoided that hotel the day he was shot? How would history have changed. Well, there is an alternate universe for that. Even on small scales these exist. Somewhere in the universes exists a world where I chose the blue Mountain Dew rather than the reddish orange stuff. What was I thinking? I'd even like to see the world where I try harder and end up going to college in LaCrosse.

These are all fantastic ideas and scenarios that I just dreamed up. You may think I am ridiculous, but I think you are being ridiculous in thinking that I was in the first place. Lost you, didn't I? My point is that if you can think it, it is happening somewhere. One of the infinite universes is playing out your little idea as you read this. It has to be. Besides, where else do these ideas come from? Not just your brain. They exist as reality somewhere and just happen to float along through time and space into your mind.

Abstract shit, eh? It made sense to me, so that is all that matters.

Rather than get wrapped up in alternate realities, I should probably deal with the one I am in every day. This is the one that is going to someday kill me after all. I best give it as much attention as possible.

This cruel world stuck again on Saturday morning (Aug 1) when I learned that some lame ass mother fucker stole my bike. Right out of the parking spot where I had it chained up. They took the chain and all. Basically, some bolt cutters were involved. I live in a relatively good neighborhood too. Right between a couple of schools. This shit shouldn't happen. It was clearly an inside job and I was cased. Some fool watched me and played me. They came through the neighborhood and knew right where to sneak into the parking area and take what was mine.

It is one of those unfortunate situations where you just say goodbye to the bike. I will never see it again. The Green Bay Police have drunk drivers and ticket scalpers to take care of. Petty bike thievery is not one of their concerns. Rest assured, I am paranoid and suspicious now.

Little bro and I went to Packers' training camp on Thursday. It was a good time. The pictures are up on Facebook. The offense practiced on our end of the field. They looked damn good. The new practice field was awesome too. They actually have a nice setup with no chain link fence getting in your way. Rodgers is set to have another big year. The defense was a question mark since majority of the starters were sitting out.

Best part of going to training camp was that I had Thursday off. Which was a feat. It seems that getting a day off at work is like finding Osama Bin Laden. Neither is likely these days. The sad part is that I have 15 days of vacation that I probably won't be able to use. How it all built up is beyond me. I guess I lead a boring life. I have about 13 days of sick time as well. I would use that for dental appointments I have to make, but they treat it like vacation so I won't be getting off for that either. It is basically a crock of shit. They give you time that you aren't able to use.

Some days it is like bending over and grabbing your ankles. But in this case you know its coming and you are essentially forced to watch while someone does play by play with a telestrater right in front of you. In fact, it is John Madden and he mumbles a few bits about Brett Favre.

Sigh. I really do hate my job. No doubt about it. Sure I enjoy the people I see everyday, but the job just isn't exciting in the slightest. It is gotten redundant, boring, and predictable. There is no real challenge to it and no means to stay motivated. If I get even better at what I do, I am still doing what I am doing.

Coming to that realization has put a plan in motion for me to get to something better. I've been scouring internal jobs to find something more suitable for me. I am not even just talking about a job matching my skill set. I am just looking for something that allows me to be effective and not bored. There is a high probability that such a thing doesn't exist within the company. If not, oh well. I guess I'll just expand my search.

The inevitable move from Green Bay forms a more clear picture in my head every day. I need to get out of this poser of a city. If it wasn't for the Packers being here, I wouldn't me interested in much of anything. A single guy living on his own isn't going to entertain himself unless he is hitting up the bars looking to infect his genitals with the venereal disease of the week. Well, that's not me. And I don't drink, so none of that lifestyle appeals to me.

Madison is the very likely choice for a move. One reason being that the bulk of my social base is down there. The second main draw would be that jobs are much more prevalent and diverse. Here in Green Bay it seems to be call center or factory if you want to make any decent money. Madison is also interesting. There is culture and things to do. If I want to randomly find some midnight showing of Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, someone might be doing one. State Street always offers something new as well. Ultimately it would be more fun out there. And I am too young to not want to have a little fun in my life. The routine of coming home, making dinner, watching tv, check the Internet, and go to bed just isn't cutting it. I have more potential energy than that.

I am also fairly certain that the women in Madison are more interesting as well. There are more of them, so the odds are that there is a foul mouthed geek type who likes movies and sports. Not gonna find that here.

If not Madison, I would reconsider something on the outskirts of Milwaukee. Not West Allis though. Never in 100 years. I'd have to let Amy figure out the perfect spot for me there. I trust her more than I trust myself.

The idea of just up and leaving Wisconsin altogether has crossed my mind. Somewhere with a mild climate would be nice, even if my pal David insists I should move to Los Angeles and drop scripts as a waiter. Something like Portland, Salt Lake City, or Seattle would be just find. I hear good things about those cities. Portland especially. I haven't thought through what the hell I would do out there, but that doesn't matter at this point. There are many smaller details to figure out before any of that would be even a remote reality.

Wow, look at that. Several pages about nothing. Time for my quick thoughts:

Many of the fans at training camp were utter uneducated morons. The douche bags behind us believed Michael Vick was going to be signed on Thursday afternoon. They also mocked their own children because they were asking honest questions about what they were watching. I hope someone glues their dicks to their stomachs.

Speaking of that, wow! That is one messed up story. How convenient is it that the guy has child abuse charges dropped on him as soon as the wife gets charged for the while imprisonment ordeal. I am sure that was her backup for when she got arrested. They are all messed up works of art.

Billy Mays and cocaine? The more I think about it, the more it starts to make sense. He always did seem jittery and frantic. There has to be a tell all biography in the works. Money says Billy had a thing for hookers.

I still think laundry is the most boring household chore ever.

The Game of Things, sold at your local Target remains one of the best I ever played. Nowhere else does “Anime Porn” or “The West” become more hilarious each time it is mentioned.

John Hughes is dead. That is sad. He wrote a lot of good movies. I will now study then and use them to enhance my own writing style.

Time to wrap this up...

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes, now

(i spell checked but that is it. I apologize for all grammatical shit)

Have any of you watched “Ghost Adventures” on the Travel Channel? It is just like “Ghost Hunters”, but more or less more 'roided” up. If that makes sense. Basically, the guy hosting it is a lost louder and more obnoxious than anyone on the other ghost shows out there. I am not sure if I like the show yet. I believe they are as legit as the TAPS crew on Ghosthunters, but more upfront and involved while they hunt. They are much more active and get right into the mix of things. The host guy is quiet when need be, but has no problem giving a play by play of what he is feeling. Very intense. I will hold back judgment after a few more episodes.

Yeah, I know. You could have cared less about that last paragraphs. You want me to get to the good shit. You want me to talk about something of interest to you. Okay. I can try to stir something up.

Truth be told, there hasn't been that much excitement in life since Vegas. One funny story that I have isn't sharable over a blog. I'll tell a few of you on a private basis. It is nothing inappropriate. I just want to be respectful of the circumstances that created a very awkward moment for me.

I assume many of you are aware of my viewing of WWE Raw this past Monday. It was a show that made big news here in Green Bay. It was not because of how awesome the show was, but more because of the presence of one Donald Trump. You see, The Donald was part of a storyline that made him the owner of the Monday Night Raw show. He was trying to be all fan friendly and shit, so he called a press conference at the Green Bay airport. His big announcement? He was giving everyone in attendance a full refund.

Yeah. I didn't believe it when I heard it either. Then I got to the show. They made sure to announce the fact we got refunds several times and even handed out slips explaining how we could get our refunds. I paid with a VISA, so I would be getting mine back automatically. Despite some shitty storytelling by the WWE, they stuck with their initial promise to refund people.

The best part about this all was that my seats were in the third row. (See my photos for a perspective) I had a great view and the best seats I have ever had at live wrestling show. I got all kinds of great pictures as well as some time on television. Nate claims I had more face time than Trump on this week's show. I won't argue with Nate. So, all these cool things happened and it was absolutely no cost to me in the end.

Did I mention that I had signs? I had two I put up and had on television. The first was “Vince got trump'd”. Which goes along with the storyline with the Donald. The second sign was kind of a tribute to my hatred of John Cena. Well, maybe not my hatred, but Jason's hatred. Unbeknown to Jason, I created a sign on his behalf. One that he would notice immediately. The kind of sign he would never forget. What did it say?

CENA > JARMOS

That > means “greater than” for you math illiterate individuals.

Yep. I did that. He and Nate watched the show on DVR delay. It was near the end when I started getting texts from Jason. He was shocked and in awe at the same time. Clearly it was cool to have his nickname on national television. However, I believe it was a little disappointing for him to see that world now assumed that John Cena was better than him.

Cena isn't. But it is still funny.

By Wednesday night, my RAW refund was gone because I had something to spend it on. In this case it was a 6 pound and 9 ounce bundle of joy named Addison Mae. On Monday morning my sister gave birth to her third child. Little Addison is my second niece and as adorable as any baby I have ever seen.

The kid is so tiny and adorable. I got to visit with her today. Only a few days old and she is quiet as can be. Then I looked over to her big sister who is as loud and obnoxious as can be. Gosh, I remember when Hannah was actually a quiet little baby. Kids grow up fast.

Work just dragged on this week. Honestly, I was really at the end of my rope. I can't do much more of it. There are only so many phone calls I can take before everything just gets old. Granted every person I speak with is different and behaves differently. However, what I tell them is the same old shit. It seems like I can almost predict what they are going to ask and the stupid excuses they are going to have. And let me tell you, their excuses are fucking stupid. Every last one of them.

These people go for years at a time paying for their premium. They don't question it. They just do it. It isn't an issue to them because they have no reason to be concerned. Then they go in for one office visit for a cough. They get their claim back and learn they have to pay $64 for the exam. However, they don't feel as if that is correct. They think that because they pay for insurance that we'll pay for all of their office visits. Needless to say, they are incorrect. There is a deductible to be met before anyone is paying anything on their office visit.

For several years they had no issue with their insurance just being there in the case of a major medical disaster. They put in what is probably thousands of dollars without question. This isn't an issue for them. But they have to throw down an extra $64 and that prompts a phone call. They better get on the line with their insurance carrier to lay the smack down. Someone needs to hear about it. After all, they are paying insurance so they don't have medical expenses. They better start yelling at the customer service representative as if they didn't get their extra order of French fries with their extra value meal. Someone needs to be yelled at because the caller swears that their office visit should be paid. In fact, they are now demanding it.

Threatening words about canceling the policy soon follow the initial arguments and admissions of ignorance. It sure has been years now that the member had been paying for insurance and apparently had no idea what their coverage was. I don't buy their bullshit, but I give them their appeal rights anyway. Part of me wants to call them out on their nonsense. I want to tell them to pull their heads out of their asses. Would these people buy a television without doing some research on it? They aren't going to drop $1500 on an HDTV and then call up Best Buy three years later when they discover it doesn't have picture in picture. They'd get laughed at by Best Buy. They know how stupid they would look since they had every opportunity to ask questions and do research on their purchase. Deep down they know the truth. They are well aware that they should know better. It is nobody's fault except their own. Now because they know they are a real fucking idiot, they need to take it out on someone. They need to piss and moan to the first person they get on the phone. Maybe whining and pleading ignorance will get them some special treatment.

Sorry sir, but this still isn't a cheeseburger and fries.

Oops. Did I rant much? Oh well. Sometimes I just gotta let loose and go. I wonder if this same scenario happens at other places. I would imagine that elements of it are unique to the insurance industry. As it seems, when something is tangible, people tend to take their own personal responsibility. When it is an abstract product, then they tend to not see it or fully understand it. Maybe I should do some kind of research study on it when I eventually go back to school. I could call it “Why are people ignorant assholes?”

Maybe it could win me a scholarship or something.

Who has plans for the 4th? I know I do. I'll be heading down to meet up with Jay in Madison. For the past four years or so, since we had been in Whitewater, I had gone to Franklin with him on the 4th. His grandparents do a good old fashioned barbecue. Oh, and there is a fun little festival in the park down the street. It has been quite fun. Jason, Amy, and I usually blow a ton of money on carnival games and food. I also enjoy the antics of Jason's aunt Cindi. She is quite the character. One of those “says what is on her mind' kind of people who is an enthusiast of juice (read: vodka). My friends are my second family so it is nice to have this little tradition going on. Plus there is always good desert. It also helps that Jason's grandmother doesn't let us leave without food.

Time for random things that cross through my head:

“Frotch” is a funny word. Tanya and I came up with it one time during a Brewers game. I believe it was in an attempt to mock Seth McClung for having a face crotch. I like sharing these fun things with the world.

Lady Gaga is one filthy bitch. It wasn't until Friday that I realized her song “Poker Face” included the words “Bluffing with my muffin!” What a skank!

I saw little Julie Mihm yesterday. It was pretty much like old times. She recalls me as being borderline inappropriate. I tend to disagree. There is no borderline. I just cross it all the time.

You know what is totally awesome (in the sarcastic sense)? When people who are supposedly related to you, like you know, family, can't seem to grasp the concept that you are 27 years old and an adult. I haven't lived with my mother for the basically ten years now, people! Oh and stop asking me like “What are you going to school for?” I graduated four fucking years ago!

“Public Enemies” looks fantastic. Utterly fantastic. I can't wait to see it.

I went into Walgreen's to pick up my wrestling pictures yesterday. When I say my name, the woman knows right where my photos are. No, they were not in the “W” bin where one might expect. Instead they were on top of the shelf right behind her. Then as she hands the envelope to me she says “So, ringside seats, eh?” That is when I notice that they probably were rifled through. I say they were third row and my camera is good. Then she says that her son was there and only got pics of backs of heads. Then she is very forward and asks if she can just print off some of mine for her kid. To me this is both flattering and creepy at the same time. Now the thought of creepiness went away when I realized that the woman probably was the one who processed the pictures. She probably sees all kinds of shit that she makes mental notes of. Now she at least asked me. I suppose that she could have just printed them without me ever knowing, but she was upfront. Basically, long story short, I feel like I took awesome photos.

Storheim's, an overpriced custard and burger place here in Green Bay, closed a couple months back. Opened in its place in a remodeled building is a little drive up car hop style place called Gilly's. It is run by family of the people who own the famous Gille's in Milwaukee. I had food from there today. It was good and reasonably priced. Rock on.

I love the Pepsi Rock Band Promotion. I have won 15 free tracks thus far. Totally awesome in my book.

It upsets me when it is supposed to storm, but doesn't.

Have you been watching “Harper's Island?”. Your loss! It was excellent this week.

Also good was a TV pilot for a little show called “Virtuality”. It has not been picked up yet, but would be a critical darling if it was.

Why do random scary people have to comment about my throwback Paul Molitor jersey? Shut up, you're creepy!

Peace out, peeps!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

You're gonna be a shining star, with fancy clothes, fancy car-ars.

Random thoughts on a Saturday night:

So, a vacation is supposed to provide you with rest and relaxation, thus allowing you to return to work fresh and rejuvenated, right? Not so much when you go to Las Vegas and have the best time ever. Going back to work just reminded me how much I hate it.

The Brewers are a little inconsistent lately. However, Prince seems a little motivated as of late. Good for him. Craig Counsell has been earning his keep as well. They need to give him more money. The old man is showing the kids how it is done.

While flipping through channels, I realized that Susan Boyle reminds me of the crazy bird lady from “Home Alone 2”

Has anyone seen previews for that Disney movie, “G-Force”. Yeah, I know right? Total crap in 3-D. Now, I am all for movies with a ridiculous concept, but this is a little too much for me. Especially since this movie was clearly put together to get money from children. I doubt it'll be worth anything to anyone who is above the age of 7.

Does anyone even use MySpace these days?

I bought a throwback Brewers jersey last weekend. Paul Molitor. Good ole number 4. It is bad ass.

I am going camping next weekend. I am really not so ready for it. I probably should be. I'm not however. Eh. I'll get ready. I don't need much more than a sleeping bag and some clothes.

CiCi's Pizza. There are always commercials. However, I have never seen one. $5 for a pizza buffet makes me not trust them.

There will be a Vegas themed blog at some point in the coming weeks. Stories need to be told. They won't be as fantastic as “The Hangover”, but it was fun none the less. In my story, Jason knocks Mike Tyson out.

Sigh. I think I'll sleep in on Sunday morning. Maybe go shopping and get some donuts after that.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

by the way, i made it through the day

I slept in until noon today. Granted, I woke up momentarily after 8 am, but there was no purpose in getting out of bed, so there I went into slumber. Four hours later I had to pee so bad that I had to get out of bed. I already looked homeless. Didn't need to smell that way as well. By golly, it sure was nice though. I had not slept in so late in ages. It probably had a lot to do with the Nyquil. It really does work. However, I still feel a bit off in the morning. I can imagine it is just how Joe Namath feels on the average morning.

However, I do have the distinct advantage of remembering the previous night.

Last night I went to my first Wisconsin Timber Rattler's game. They are a class A affiliate of the Milwaukee Brewers. For those of you wondering, yes, I am talking about baseball. Now, Minor League ball isn't always the most spectacular thing. It isn't full of athleticism like the Major League is, but that doesn't mean that they aren't giving it 100%. These kids all oozed of effort and dreams. There was not a bit of slacking on either side. It was baseball, maybe not at its finest, but none the less what was advertised.

The best part about Minor League sports is that they find all kinds of unique ways to keep people involved and entertained. Last night they would toss out cheese curds whenever the opposing team's top slugger would strike out. I am not sure about you, but I love the idea of cheese being thrown at me. In fact, I have had dreams just about that. Cheese curds being hurled at me by women in their underwear. In fact, I will probably take that idea and make it into a music video some day. It could win a few awards from MTV. Hell, there may be no need for music since MTV forgot what that was ten years ago.

Another great attraction was when two guys put on over sized foam boxing gloves and attempted to punch the crap out of one another. It was a weak brawl. However, it did not stop Steve and I from contemplating how out of hand we would have gotten. It would have been the last time they ever did that bit. That is for sure. Oh! A third thing they did was bring out one of those guns that shoots things. Only, this time, it was not some t-shirt from some bank that nobody cares about. It was something much more important than that. It was ambrosia wrapped in foil. It was bratwursts. They shot those things 100 feet in the air and watched as crazies lunged for it. It is unfortunate that it took until now to invent the brat bazooka. I can only imagine how effective it would have been during WWII. Those Germans would not have known what the fuck to do if bratwurst were being shot at them. Add to that sauerkraut grenades and you cut two years off that war at minimum.

Any of you watch the show, “Dollhouse”? You know, the show about a big company that wipes people's brains and programs them to be just about anything? Probably not since it is on Friday night and the ratings are less than stellar. Trust me, the ratings do not reflect quality. Friday is asking for a low rating, so despite the fact that it is a damn good show, nobody is watching. It is rather unfair. You probably should give it a chance on Hulu or Fox's website. I assure you that once you get a few episodes in (#4 is where it got real good), you will find yourself wanting to see the entire story play out. Now before you brush it off, let me give you four reasons as to why you should watch this show.

1.There are young and attractive stars. Oh, do not act like you are not in the slightest bit shallow when watching a television show. Just try and tell me that you don't like to look at pretty things. I bet that “Gossip Girl”, “Grey's Anatomy”, and “American Idol” are still on your DVR. You can't tell me that you are watching that stuff just because of good story telling and pure talent. Nope. There is the eye candy factor. “Dollhouse” has that. It all starts with the lead, Eliza Dushku, You will recall her from “Wrong Turn”, “Buffy The Vampire Slayer”, and “Bring it On”. She has that bad girl next door thing going for her. Then there is a treat for some of you who prefer men. His name is Tahmoh Penikett. Geeks have seen him on “Battlestar Galactica”. He is a decent actor, but hell, even I can admit that he is a good looking guy. And ladies, he is often shirtless. Not that you would be interested in that.

2.Joss Whedon created it. Yeah, you heard me mention him before. He worked on a lot of stuff I liked. Most specifically, he is responsible for “Firefly” and “Serenity”. More recently he wrote and directed the web sensation “Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog”. Basically, the man is incredibly creative and bring any given mood or style at any moment. He can make it silly one moment and incredibly sad the next. This may sound crazy, but in context it works and is often incredible.

3.The characters. Yep. The characters in this show are worth investing in. Granted, the idea that Eliza Dushku and several other of the actors would change personalities every week seems a bit lofty in the area of character development. However, that is just on paper as an idea. It plays out in a much more complex and rewarding way. You see, they are not working as planned. Bits of their original personalities are leaking when they are on missions. They are becoming unpredictable and potentially dangerous. Let us not mention the conflicted individuals in the supporting cast. There is the disgraced FBI agent who is borderline obsessed with finding the Dollhouse. There is the newly hired Boyd Langton who may have a moral objection to what is being done to the dolls, but he needs a paycheck. Also, there is a snooty geek that programs the dolls with their memories and personalities, who happens to more insecure than he lets on. The point is, these characters are layered. Nobody is who we think they are. Each week we get a little piece of their story. That worked for “Lost” and I think it is working for “Dollhouse”.

4.Overall intrigue. There are a lot of questions to be answered and an aura of mystery surrounding them. Why does the government not know about this place? Are the dolls slaves? How do they find these people? Where do they hide such an operation? Those are all questions that have basically been answered by now, but they are just the tip of the ice berg. The mystery grew when we learned that the “Dollhouse” may have a more substantial purpose than simply being a business venture. Let us not forget that a rogue doll named Alpha is on the loose and nobody has the slightest idea as to where he is.

There you have it. I have explained myself. Time for some random thoughts.

Pepsi Throwback tastes quite amazing. You should give her a try. Delicious. Real sugar too!

A recent update for MLB The Show 09 contained a glitch that has basically rendered by career mode useless. Yes, I am a bit pissed.

Steve purchased a chalk board for our fantasy football draft this summer. A live draft. Which will rock.

Wow, has it really been almost three months already? Guess it wasn't that earth shattering of a decision for me after all.

Weather for Green Bay seems to be a lot of rain this week. Oh well. We could use it.

The job I mentioned to some of you... well, yeah, didn't get it. Not that I didn't rock the shit out of that interview. That much was essentially confirmed for me. Sometimes you are missing one key component. Still.... I probably would have kicked ass at that job. We'll see what happens in June when another position opens.

Essentially 2 weeks until Vegas. I can see the money being flushes away as I type this.

I am sick of this swine flu nonsense. Trust me people, there are worse things out there.

WWE RAW comes to GB in June. I will be buying a ticket soon. Yes, I am a geek. Anyone else wanna go?

Ouch. It is getting real late. Time for sleep. Long week ahead. (it is always a long week these days)