Thursday, April 23, 2009

When your mind's made up...

Do you want to know what I like? It is that little “Like” link you can click on Facebook news feeds. It really is just a wonderful way to provide feedback to someone without having to say or type a damn word. It is the Facebook equivalent of a head nod or a wink. You gotta love that, right?

Also, it really is a way to say “Hey, I caught that news feed about you and wanted to give you a nonverbal heads up that I like what you did there.” Essentially it is a form of electronic acknowledgment of another person. Or in other words, it is e-attention. Who the hell doesn't like attention and acknowledgment? Nobody I know, that is for sure. Sure it might be just another way to be in a sort of spotlight, but that is something I can't complain with. Spotlight? Yes please. Sign me up right now.

Ultimately, the best use of this feature is done by the hardcore Facebook users. You know who I am talking. These are the Facebook stalkers. Yeah, I know, it is like the pot calling the skillet a cooking apparatus. I wouldn't want to speak of this concept if I didn't know it inside and out. Now, if you have done your fair share of Facebooking, you probably know what I am getting at with the “Like” link being a useful tool for “stalking”.

Why is it useful, Nick? That is a great question. It is useful when you are surfing through Facebook and come across a complete stranger or a long lost acquaintance that draws your attention. Perhaps this person is interesting. Maybe they are smoking hot and you want in on that action. Hell, they may even have some unresolved beef with you. Regardless, you need an ice breaker and what better to do it with than use the “Like” link. It is a blessing in disguise.

Think about it. Clicking the “Like” is basically your way of saying, “hey, I saw this and I agree with it”. It comes right from the news feed and is public as can be. There is nothing awkward or strange about it. You don't think twice about getting the notification that someone liked your news feed. In fact, there isn't a disturbing bit about it....

Well, unless you think about it like I do.

So, there you are on a lonely Sunday night. You just finished watching a marathon of Mythbusters and are winding down the weekend before you go back to work for the man. You are in dire need for a fix of the Facebook. Everyone needs a little of that on a Sunday Night. Oh, look at that! Someone from college that you haven't spoken to in 5 years accepted your friend request from 4 months ago. Time to go stalk the shit out of them. Gee, I wonder what in the world I should say to them. “Hey, how is it going” is almost too cliché. “What's up?” is boring. Hmm. I should maybe not say a word. If I said anything I would come off as eager and disparate for attention as I really am. How in the world do I get myself on the inside without directly saying, “Hey you, girl who showed me your chest back in the dorms! Look at all my cool Packer pictures on my profile and comment on how funny my notes are!”. Hey! I got it! She just watched an episode of “Law and Order: SVU”. I hate that fucking show. But hell, she doesn't know that.


“Nick Wallander likes this.”

That should do the trick. Now she'll just think I came upon this in the news feed. She might not talk to be if she knew I was staring at her roommate in a bikini on her most recent photo album. But hey, as far as she knows, I just scanned by her status. I am just very observant. Not creepy one bit.

So, Facebook, I thank you for this simple little feature that goes beyond a few little words. You have no idea how much it has done for me- errr - people out there on the site. It is much more safe than handling chloroform. And cheaper. You use the wrong amount and you have a body to dispose of. I don't know about you, but that is a problem I would not want.

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