Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hey Now, you're an all star....or not, so I can't be friends with you.

While stalking through facebook I noticed one of my friends posted a status regarding a peculiar behavior I had noticed in the past.  It is something I could say that I had fallen victim to a couple times over the years.  Well, okay, maybe I wasn’t a victim, but it definitely was something I had happen to me previously.  I am talking about the strange phenomena of facebook de-friending.

                When I refer to the term “de-friending” I am not just meaning the act of removing someone from your friends list.  Although that is the simplest definition, it is not the specific act I am referring to.  I am more intrigued by those people who randomly purge their friends list of people for mysterious and unexplained reasons.  I can totally understand people de-friending over an offline dispute with an individual in their lives (or now out of their lives).  That scenario makes sense and has damn good reason behind it.  However, the people who just de-friend without a direct cause have some kind of anti-social personality disorder.
                Just hear me out.  I am not out of my mind.  There is something odd about doing that.   There are a handful of reasons someone might do that.  They aren’t justifiable reasons, but reasons none the less.  Then there are probably certain types of people who might be chronic de-frienders.  Let’s explore some of this bullshit.
    First we need to establish that most of the people we are “friends” with on facebook aren’t significant in our lives.  They are acquaintances or people you maybe knew well at one point.  Let’s be honest about what facebook is.  It is a popularity contest and a way to connect.  Ultimately, you don’t become “friends” with anyone you don’t want to.  If you ignore a request, the person may never notice or will just forget about you.  However, this leads me to the first illogical reason that a person might de-friend you.  For whatever reason, they may decide that they just don’t like you.  Well, people, that is really ridiculous.  And it is the fault of the perpetrator.   If they didn’t  like you, then they shouldn’t  have friended you in the first place.  Only a total dumbass comes to the realization one day that they don’t like someone.

                Why else might they de-friend you?  Perhaps they are annoyed by what you post or don’t like the things you say.  Well, that is just foolish, isn’t it?   You don’t have to read a damn thing that is posted.  If you do, it is because you are secretly interested in what they have to say.  Once again, these people knew what they were getting.  If they didn’t, well then they shouldn’t have friended you in the first place.
                Then there are the random de-friending events that happen because people decide that they need to weed out their friends list.  I am not sure why anyone needs to do this.  They do though.   Apparently there is a need to only have the closest of close people on facebook.  That is clearly a bunch of bullshit too.  If you want to keep in touch with just your close friends and family, use the phone.  Facebook is a social networking site.  The point is to have all kinds of random and vast connections.  It is the whole idea behind the concept.  If you want to restrict your connections, then get set up on an email listing.  Weeding out a friends list is basically the douchiest of acts one can do on a social networking site.

                Really though, who decides that their friends list needs to be exclusive?  Facebook isn’t a popular night club with a dress code.  There is no need for the pretentious and self righteous.  Anyone who is actively de-friending people who haven’t directly warranted it is probably some sort of prick.  Chances are that these assholes just think they are better than you for some reason.  Well, that is far from the truth.   Only a true loser would sit around contemplating who they are going to de-friend.  

                I also assume that some people de-friend others as a way to maintain their status.  They don’t want Sally So-and-So from high school to see that they were friends with the kid from the chess club.  Funny thing is that it is like seven years later and people are usually above such childish antics.  Nope.  People don’t really chance.  They tend to stay as sophomoric as they were as teenagers.  It really is fascinating to see people revert to their old ways once technology finds ways to bring together the same groups of people from years past.  

                Obviously this is something that I noticed happening to me.  It is a slight blow to the ego when you see it happen.  I like to think I am above that kind of feeling, but truth be told, nobody likes to find out that someone, even a faux friend, doesn’t like them.  I get over it soon after, but that initially feeling isn’t fun in the slightest.  This realization comes when you notice you haven’t seen someone’s status updates in a while.  I might not always pay complete attention to everyone, but I do tend to notice the posting trending on my news feed.  Eventually, when something isn’t there anymore, I notice.   

                The other circumstance where I notice I have been de-friended is when I see a former friend of mine commenting on a current friend’s post.  I will click their name not knowing I have been de-friended.   Then I see that their information isn’t even available to me and that I can “add them” as a friend.  Great.  Awesome.   I used to like you, dude.   However, someone was a fuck stick and had some sort of diva ego moment and considered me social garbage.   

                Have any of you experienced this?  It isn’t a big deal at the end of the day, but it still is a totally ridiculous phenomenon.   It really fascinates me how much a friend list and facebook posts affect the lives of people who aren’t even significant to you.  That is the real kicker here.  People take their time to go ahead and remove you from their friends and they really don’t even know you that well.  Seems like a little overkill for someone who isn’t worth it.  Get over yourself, assholes.  

                In conclusion, my advice to you kids is that you shouldn’t worry about it.  It is no reflection on you.  As it turns out, there are a lot of pretentious yuppies on the web looking to be big shot

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